I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
