Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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