Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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