we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
