drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
