Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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