her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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