I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
why is half of my head shaved?
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