ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
