No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
