Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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