dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
