you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
