I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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