we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
