No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
