I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
