I love black thongs
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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