There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
