I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
