hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
