Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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