Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
