My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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