I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize