i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
