Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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