Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
