I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
