woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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