i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
