doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
