Swine flu is the new snow day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
