hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
