screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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