Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
