carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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