you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
