i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
two words: eviction party
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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