my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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