Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
whose parrot is this?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
