My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
