I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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