I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
