The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
