if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
