over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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