Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
