yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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