you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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