My hair reeks of homosexuality.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
