Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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