i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
