Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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