After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
