Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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