oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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