i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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