Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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