James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
