Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
